Acts of kindness come from the heart; be they reflexive, prescribed, motivated by love, guilt, responsibility – and likely some combination of the above. Expressions of caring may be functions of gender, age, personality, class and culture. For some time I have been observing how families and individuals manage life cycle transitions and find the variations fascinating and instructional.

In my practice as a Social Worker I continue to learn from those I “help.” These partnerships create a synergy whereby one plus one is way more than two. Aging related consultation is an efficient way for the elderly and their adult children to access resources, identify opportunities and improve family communication. When caring for an older adult there are the essential tasks that rise to the top of the priority list like providing meals, shelter, personal care, transportation, etc. Care-givers check off those tasks “upon completion” and may then attempt the next tier of needs that might include socialization, entertainment or enrichment activities. This is a form of triage and certainly necessary to conserve human and other resources.

In my private practice, I facilitate families in expanding the definition of care-giving to one that includes an exploration of the care-giver and care-receiver roles, dream fulfillment, social engagement and full inclusion of the Elders in our communities. How this unfolds is as unique as each person in the care-giving-care-receiving partnership. Thinking beyond the “To Do” list opens the door to greater fulfillment and growth throughout the life cycle.