I recently asked this question to friends of mine in their 80′s. They feel fine about being referred to as “elderly”, because as they put it, “we are.” But that’s not all they are.  Others see the onset of becoming elderly, aged or just plain old upon reaching a specific milestone or birthday. The term “geriatric” conjures up an image of a very frail person requiring personal care and assistance. The government declares us senior citizens when Medicare coverage and Social Security benefits kick in. You get the point. 

So let’s get back to the labels…I would argue that the important thing is to see the individual before the label. This “People First” movement has been embraced by a number of groups including “People with Disabilities and People with AIDS.”  Here in Brunswick Maine a community center changed its name from the “55+ Center” to the “People Plus Center” for just these reasons. The word “People” is much more expansive, inclusive and inviting than descriptive terms that select one aspect of the human experience. Labels are limiting and can lead to misunderstandings about the person behind the label. Going forward, I will consciously avoid such labels while getting to know the adults I consult with and listening to how they describe themselves.

In my practice as a Social Worker I continue to learn from those I “help.” These partnerships create a synergy whereby one plus one is way more than two. Aging related consultation is an efficient way for the elderly and their adult children to access resources, identify opportunities and improve family communication. When caring for an older adult there are the essential tasks that rise to the top of the priority list like providing meals, shelter, personal care, transportation, etc. Care-givers check off those tasks “upon completion” and may then attempt the next tier of needs that might include socialization, entertainment or enrichment activities. This is a form of triage and certainly necessary to conserve human and other resources.

In my private practice, I facilitate families in expanding the definition of care-giving to one that includes an exploration of the care-giver and care-receiver roles, dream fulfillment, social engagement and full inclusion of the Elders in our communities. How this unfolds is as unique as each person in the care-giving-care-receiving partnership. Thinking beyond the “To Do” list opens the door to greater fulfillment and growth throughout the life cycle.